We need an RP room

[shiftytigger]

Were the Acorns broken from date of manufacture?

GO NORTH

Unfortunately you failed to see the small obstruction on the door sign - and are now trapped in a room full of 'The Only Way is Essex Toys'.

The life size plastic models are everywhere , uttering few words and smelling slightly of coconut. The banality of the chatter is lulling you towards sleep.
You then realise these may not be toys at all , but the simplistic design of the figurines doesnt help to decide.You need to escape before you fall asleep and are at the mercy of these brainless zombies.

To the north is a septic tank
To the east is a path shrouded in mist - a vague shadowy figure lurks there.
To the south is a door locked from the other side
To the west is a Cash Converters full of neds,chavs and p!ssy smelling drunks.

[crusto]

You awake in a room smelling of decaying life form, on closer inspection you uncover Jessica Ennis's used gym slip. Upon further inspection Usain bolts jock strap is found, indeed it appears as though some sort of bolt has been shot, a good week or so previously.

To the East lies a drunken blue hedgehog, it appears to be being humped by a deranged plumber.
To the South lies a shovel, a keyboard and a get rich quick manual.
To the North lies lies skynet and Edward Furlong.
To the West there is a bright white light, within which the faint shape of a square can be made out, approx 6 inches square. Upon closer inspection the letter P and C can be seen. Somehow you know this is the direction you must take.

[DreamcastRIP]

I heard this was the Retro Pr0n thread.

[Liamh1982]

GO TO DALLAS.

To the north is a roller disco.
To the east is a space-hopper factory.
To the south is an Aztec bar mine.
To the west is a place where I've run out of 1970s references.

[merman]

Merman starts singing about the gold...

[DreamcastRIP]

... which is to be found...

[dannyboy1487]

I am The White Knight and I protect my king and I am loyal

[dannyboy1487]

I am trotting around the kingdom on my horse when all of a sudden a fearful dragon attacks the kingdom! But I'm not afraid so I get out my White and gold rimmed shield and my gold sword and run up to it on my horse, the dragon shoots fire at me so I block it with my shield then I jump off my horse and do a front flip then I near the dragon, all of a sudden my sword goes straight through it's neck chopping its head off, the kingdom thanks me and I ride off home

[ReplayRetro]

it turns out the dragon was a metaphor for the entire of creation and thus with its demise the entire universe blinks out of existence

[dannyboy1487]

Then god brings back the universe and makes me more powerful than ever

[ReplayRetro]

unfortunately the dragon was also god in a cunning disguise

[dannyboy1487]

Then the real god comes along and Zaps the dragon an it turns to dust

[theantmeister]

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs eat man... woman inherits the earth.

[eddiehitlersbaldhead]

Then the black knight comes along and repopulates man and man and women rule earth in medieval times

[the_hawk]

Then the black knight comes along and repopulates man and man and women rule earth in medieval times

*SIGH*

A blind man riding backwards on a runnaway horse can tell that you & this Nimrod are one & the same. Look fella, maybe this forum isn't for you, most of the users are at least twice your age. Maybe you & your many disguises could just chill out for a bit, yes?

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